INTERCULTURAL LOVE

Compiling my own experience on the subject and my students´, I have learnt -at least- one thing: men and women are the same all around the world… but they are also different.

The scope of the problem exceeds the language matter.

The first sensation about people from another culture is often exoticism. Everything is new and attractive: Latinamerican guys show their feelings!, Germans are less male chauvinisctic!, Americans leave their parents´home at 18!, you have to kiss everybody in BA!, the French cook amazingly!, porteños are so clothes-conscious!,  Swedes are so blond!, Mexican so dark!, etc., etc… At first it seems as though these new people have everything our own don´t.

After a while it may start to raise the feeling of something missing. Even if both speak each others language fluently , nuances may still remain unknown. I´m talking about humour, body language, irony, prosody… in a nutshell, the distance between what you say and what you actually communicate.

Just to mention a few examples of BA: the simple fact of a man inviting a woman for a dinner has flirting connotations here; a woman dancing with her back close toward a man´s front -like hip hop dancing- is an open invitation to have sex; if a girl is not even kissed on the first date she will think that he didn´t like her; if a girl says “no”, that might mean “yes” depending on the intonation; if a man you dated on Saturday didn´t call you yet, wait until Wednesday to consider it to be concluded; and so on…

And I am only talking about “courtship”. Just imagine the scene in a  whole relationship! wrong interpretations, misunderstandings, etc.

I´m not saying it can´t work. However, if you are starting a relationship with somebody from a different culture, don´t take anything for granted. Don´t try to drop a hint or take one as with a “fellow countryman” unless you are sure about how it works for the other person. Otherwise, choose the direct way. Synchronize what you mean with what you say and be patient.

It might be an interesting experiment.  

How to squeeze your advantages as foreigner over locals (Coming soon)

LIVING with LOCALS

Many people move to Buenos Aires to immerse in a different culture. They not only plan to study Spanish but also to lead an ordinary life, just like natives here. This is why they don´t want to live in hostels or with other tourists; they want to work, have Argentinian friends, speak as much Spanish as possible, etc. In order to achieve this aim, they start to look for a place to share with some Argentinian people. Nevertheless, after a time looking for the best places to stay, they find out that it is harder than they had thought. Why?

 

As I see it, there are 2 main factors: one, cultural; the other one, economical.  

On the one hand, porteños -as descendant of Italy- have a very strong idea of family unity. In most of the cases mums want their little babies to stay at home as long as possible. Children, in consequence, do not feel the need to leave the nest until they are full adults or they want to move in with their partners. There is little ambition for independence -porteños will deny this-.

On the other hand –despite the first impression- BA is not the first world. There is an economic crisis every 10 years -I am 26 and have gone through 3-. Life has been getting more and more expensive for locals, even public education. This is why many university students prefer to stay at their parents´ and start to work to afford education expenses.

 

So, usually, it is people from the provinces -who are obliged to move to BA to study- who rent and share appartments among themselves.

 

Therefore, what one can find to rent are several rooms in a family house, many shared appartments with other foreign students but only some rooms (of different quality) in a place shared with an Argentinian young person.

 

If a lucky soul can find an acceptable room -I know 3 places-, then they might realize that it is not easy to live with a person you barely know in an environment not softened by the tourist system. This is not necessarily bad. Both people will go through good and bad moments but, after all, real ones.

 

So, don´t give up. Other ways to meet locals, coming soon.

THE “REAL” BUENOS AIRES

During your time in Buenos Aires you will find thousands of guide books telling you where to go to get to know the ‘real’ Buenos Aires as though this Buenos Aires were a sort of Atlantis hidden somewhere in Capital Federal-.

Unfortunately, you won´t find the real Buenos Aires in these guides full of adverts!

Eventually, somebody might make a guide out of good will and non-profit goals. However, it might happen that this guide -whose readers will certainly be foreigners- may produce the anti self-fulfilling profecy: People will go to these undiscovered places, and they will finally end up being included on the tourist circuit.

Still, there is one guide I totally recommend: the transport guide. You can buy it at every news stand and it is really cheap. If you have a look at it, you will find a map of Capital Federal on the first pages. You will notice how big it is and how many places are to be seen: There is a market at every park every Sunday; there are many streets full of shops; and there are lots of restaurants outside of Palermo and Puerto Madero.

My recommendation:

- Almagro neighbourhood: There is an area at the west and south west of the Abasto Shopping with several arty-farty little restaurants, bars and theaters.

- Villa Crespo neighbourhood: Walk from 4000 to 5000 Córdoba Av. There are lots of first brand clothes shops selling first and second-hand products. And if you have time, you can walk the leather district 12 blocks away (Malabia and Warnes Av.).

- Caballito neighbourhood: There is a huge book market at Rivadavia Park (4800, Rivadavia Av.). They have very good literature and, if you can find it, there are one or two stands where they sell good English literature. You can also buy dvd movies, nintendo games, old magazines, etc.

- Flores neighbourhood: Instead of Chinatown, try Koreatown (Between Av. del trabajo, Carabobo, Avenidas Castañares y La Plata).

So don´t be afraid of taking a bus and go for the experience! Service is pretty good and reliable; just try to avoid the rush-hour (8 to 10 and 5 to 9).

HOW TO SURVIVE BUENOS AIRES.

Among the most frequent doubts I have heard during the time I have been teaching Spanish, I can list the following:

 

-How to get to know Buenos Aires outside the tourist circuits.
-How to get connected with porteños.
-How to understand when porteños speak.

-How to dress.
-How to date guys.
-How to get girls.
-How to find porteños friends.

 

To sum up, how to leave the bubble created by  travel agencies and live the real Buenos Aires without feeling cut off.

 

If you are one of those, do not despair. Next, some tips…